20 Years
by Alba Raile
Summary: Sequel to 200 Years. Anna copes with the loss of Charon and tries to face the reality of her situation.
1. Facing Reality

Thank you so much for the messages. I hope this lives up to the kind comments. Please review. Thanks!

As before it will be writing in a timeline format with jumps to past/future.

* * *

 **2nd May 2280**

 **Anna:**

This is what it must be feel to be dead. I am in-between the levels of alertness and sleep, my vision is filled with a memory of the past and in this memory I can feel my mouth open. I am yelling and screaming but the noise does not meet what reaches my ears. This screaming is higher and desperate. There is a primal edge to it. It is from a child, a few weeks old and it is one of only a few things that the baby knows how to do. I want to ignore it. I want to be continually safe in sleep and not face reality even with instinct urging me to move towards the noise.

I want to reduce myself to nothing but this bed, to stay wrapped under the thin sheets simply listening to the world go on. Megaton has a background hum. The metals groan and the soil moves as inhabitant make their way around. There's clanks as the walkways are used, hisses in the water pipes and the thrum of the electricity generator. All these noises are essential to survival. It has been nosier lately. After the battle Megaton and the Citadel had to rebuild. Refugees and supplies were all moved around DC until they found a suitable place. I wanted to be more involved in the rescue efforts but I simply couldn't. All of Megatons noises are all blocked out, reduced to nothing but a demanding yell.

My eyes slowly open. In the Vault there was a class just for the girls. We were taught how to sew, iron, knit and cook. Everything to become the perfect wife to a vault male. In this class we were given fake babies to take care of. They were plastic, smooth and pale. They made no noise but we were to pretend that they did. We were to hold them and love them because that is what Mothers do.

The baby infant in front of me is not pale, she is pink and her cheeks are approaching red as she yells. She does not sit nicely in a blanket like the fake children of the vault but her arms reach out, she squirms and unravels herself from the swaddle. I want to greet her warmly and hold her like I should. Instead I stare and feel that pain that has been sitting in my chest for many months now. She is a reminder. I reach out with my hand and the baby wraps a tight fist around my finger.

"Good Morning Charlotte" I greet my daughter. My words bland. Daughter, it is a strange word of association. I was brought up to believe in a secure environment and a nuclear family. I didn't know I would have to do this alone. I pick her up, I change her, I clean her and then I put her back down. Charlotte settles and I am left in the silence. My ears ring from her noise. I lay down next to her, there is a moment of clarity before I begin to sob. My eyes sting and my chest tightens. I am so tired. Tired of crying, tired of caring.

Retrieving my pip boy from the desk beside the bed I enter words with blurry vision.

 _[VTPB:IM-Butch] I can't do this anymore_

It's not long before the screen glows in a green hum.

 _[VTPB:IM-Butch] stay there. c u soon._

* * *

 **26th August 2279**

 **Anna**

I can hear a female speak. The words reach me but I can't register them and then I hear a familiar sound. Not quite a rip or a pop but a surge. Without clarity I feel I am shifting in time again. I expect to open my eyes to intact buildings or the dreaded snow. My head hurts like a son of a bitch. I can taste metal as I feel the corner of my mouth fill with blood. My body took on the ground and lost. I can feel this as every surface that touches dirt aches. There isn't much time to think about it. Adrenalin works fast and soon the pain becomes a background feature as my main priorities becomes clear. 1. Find Charon. 2. Work out what the hell happened. My eyes snap open and with a groan I prop myself up. The ground shifts and moves as my vision fills with silver disorienting spots. I can't see him. Panic urges me faster.

Dirt. It's all I can see. I turn to look behind me and find Charon in a similar position I am in, except there is a lot more blood. I find myself yelling and crawling towards him before I know what I'm doing. Instinct takes me far and quickly I can grab his armour the leather crunching in my fist. "Charon!" It's a fluid filled yell, blood staining my teeth. He doesn't reply and my concern rises. I shake him abruptly. Charon is staring out. Looking for an image that is not there anymore, something I can't see. The shake orientates him to myself and his expression changes. Eyes wide, unable to speak. "Charon!" my voice is desperate. My mind tells me what this situation is called, _death,_ but I won't allow it.

My hands reach for the wound on his chest and press down. I need to stop the bleeding. I need to do what my father has taught me. Instead the blood flows out over my hands drenching them in red. There's too much. I can't stop this. Charon is becoming heavier in my arms. I should accept reality. Acknowledge this for what it is but I can't. I can't lose him.

"I love you" that's what people say in moments like this, isn't it? This is meant to bring on a last surge of energy and bring them back. I do love him. In this world we fight and kill. Emotions are heightened. He has saved me life too many times to be less than what he is. Everything. You read about these moments in stories. Declarations like this have power. This should work but this isn't a story. This is reality. A reality I will soon have to face without him. "Please don't go." I plead with Charon desperation clear in my voice. He gives me one last look that says a million words and then he isn't looking at me anymore.

His eyes are directed towards me but there is nothing behind him. They are blank. For a moment I sit there letting it sink in and then suddenly I am hysterical. I shake him, I scream and I yell but nothing brings him back. Nothing will change this. I am surrounded by bodies. That of few residents of Megaton and the Enclave but in my selfishness, none of them matter but this one here.

Just as I left the vault I am left with uncertainty and pain.


	2. Bit of Help

Thanks for the views and reviews.

There's a chapter from Butch now so there is difficult punctuation as per the character.

I'm so sorry for the double chapter before the only reason it wasn't fixed before was because of Fallout 4. Addicted!

* * *

 **Butch**

 **3rd May 2280**

It's early morning, literally, by the time I get to Megaton. The sun went down a good while ago and I got that notion that it was past midnight. You know that feeling when ya damn tired but you keep going, yeah that's me. My eyes nip a little but it's nothing sleep can't handle. It's not like I got any proper problems. Ya know except for the whole trying to stay alive and get food but whatever at least it's not the Vault. That place was like the halls in Rivet City, a bit tight 'n not much air at least the big ships got a door.

The walks been a bit quiet, decided against some company cause at the end this is for Anna. She wants a bit of privacy so least I can do is give her that man. Ah shit. She's not been the same. Not since the Big Guy...you know, went. Charon wasn't my favourite person but he didn't deserve that. He could at least have been allowed to stick around for a while. Ever since the Outcast showed us that time thingy I realised how old he was really was so yeah he had his time about but like damn man the guys got a kid now. I was raised without a dad and it's not fair man. I don't know if my dad knew about me or not, I had Ma but Charon didn't even get the choice. He didn't know.

When I get to the door Anna answers but she doesn't really look like Anna. She had her baby so she's a bit puffy but it's staying on her cheeks. It's not baby puffy it's she's been crying for a while puffy. Blotchy. Her hairs pulled back in a practical way but I know hair and I know that's not doing her any favours. She's got nothing to hide behind. Her face is in clear view and it looks well...shit, like she hurts.

"Are you alright?" Stupid question but I can't stand the silence.

Anna shrugs and my stomach gives that little turn when she tries to give a faint smile. She doesn't have to pretend for me. We've been through a lot she knows I can take the truth. There's a cry behind her and she doesn't turn. Anna just shuts her eyes like she's real tired or something. "She won't stop." This makes me uncomfortable. I know a Ma should run and cuddle the baby, right? Anna's standing here waiting for something to happen like something else to get her to stop. It reminds me of my own Ma but I know she ain't nothing like that. She just got a lot on her plate.

I take a big breath. You know the ones you take before you take a jump or something. I can help. ''Right" determined Butch is here. I shrug off _the_ jacket and put it next to the door on that hanger because the hovering robot had enough sense to know people might take off their dirty shit at the door. "She fed?" Anna nods. "Changed?" Anna nods. Good cause as much as I'm helping I don't want to go racking about in no diapers. It doesn't leave a lot of options though.

The babies face is bright red looks like it might shit itself but apparently its just been. I pick up the baby. She's a lovely thing you know when she's not yelling. Sturdy, gonna be long like her dad and I can already see evidence of reddy curls. To be honest I'm trying to find Anna in this face. I saw the big guy with all his bits and pieces intact at that place with all the white cold shit. She's the mirror of him and that's probably what's hurting Anna. She can't move on with a daily reminder. The baby is still crying and has a fist tighter than a ball. Looks like she's about to wack me one. "You thought about a Doctor Anna?"

Anna nods, gives me a look like i'm stupid. "I took her to Church. He took a quick look at her and told me she was _fine, completely fine_. He sent me out the door saying he doesn't deal with babies." I frown. That's not right. A doctors not meant to have one group of people he's meant to look after everyone like Anna's dad did James. He would be real good right now. Speaking of Dads I know that Simms got a boy but he's a probably busy with the rebuild.

"Let's go to another one" it's all I can offer. I wanna give Anna a bit of get up and go, might do her some good to get out of Megaton. "Barrows" I suggest. Anna looks real hesitant at that. She doesn't want to go to Underworld and see all the Ghouls. Surprisingly, she slowly nods, gets a bit used to the idea.

Then we're packing. Damn. I just realised we're gonna be travelling the Metro with a screaming baby. Seems safe.


End file.
